He healed the wounds he didn’t cause.

A line we generally hear in the context of romantic relationships these days on social media. Though while quoting it today in this blog, I found out it was used to refer to Jesus for his selfless service.

I am writing this one in the middle of another sadhana at Sri Badrika Ashram.

In the last sadhana, 2 days before New Year 2026, I had a huge breakdown. My mind was filled with fear of abandonment, I did not know it existed that deeply in me. Such can be the impact of traumas.

My Gurudeva has explained it so well here.

As I experienced with romantic relationships, the right one came along and helped me heal the wounds of the wrong one. I am getting to experience the same thing for Guru Disciple relationship as well.

And this domain is so unknown to most of us. How deep a scar a wrong Guru can give you, most of us have no idea at all.

I wrote a blog here about my experience with the past Guru here.

But this does not capture the extent to which damage has been caused within by being with the wrong one. Only now that I am healing, I am getting to know the depth of it.

This blog post came out of me, more as a gratitude, for I found the right Guru to the disciple in me.

To be able to feel the same emotions again, to be able to trust again did not come easy. And like a true gentle Guru that he is, he gave time. Every time I had doubts about him and felt bad for having doubts about him, he would gently nudge me from within, ‘It’s okay, It will heal. You are hurt, give it time.’

I feel glued to him like a cub is glued to his lioness mother.

Thank you for existing, Gurudeva!

Jai Shri Hari. Jai Gurudeva.

Update as on 30-04-2026:

I deleted the blog referred here. Everything in life comes with an expiry date.