In Shri Hari Aarti (written by Gurudeva and sung at Shri Hari temple every day at Sri Badrika Ashram to the Lord twice), the stanza which always had my complete attention has been:

Jaya Site Jaya Raghava Jaya Jaya 

Jaya Radhe Jaya Krishna Jaya Jaya 

Jaya Maa Uma Jaya Shankara Jaya Jaya 

Jaya Maa Sri Jaya Sripati Jaya Jaya 

It speaks to me in a way I cannot put in words.

For the last few years, sharing that divine relationship with one has been my single-minded obsession.

So much so that it led me to realize the true nature of love and oneness, not with one but all.

Yet, owing to the divine play and law of Karma, I still wanted to live it.

This obsession put me through trials and tribulations no sane person would ever want to subject oneself to, more so a woman. Yet once decided, I did not know how to turn back.

So, Shiva not only in spirit but in human form next to me.

And an eventual wedding.